Break It Up

My anger with the institution of marriage increases as I see what it does to brilliant, beautiful females around the country. I’ve recently come to understand the concept of staying in a crappy marriage because it’s more convenient than to break it up. And no, it’s not because you can’t leave him. It’s not that you cannot do without him. It’s not that no matter how bad a guy he is, no matter how crappy a husband he is, you still love him. No. It’s the parents. Its’s the family that stops you from walking out. It’s knowing that you can walk out, but if you do, even your own parents won’t stop to think that maybe, just maybe, your reasons are justified.

Being the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect daughter-in law in this country basically means never raising your voice against anything. Your husband goes out drinking with his buddies every day, comes home and wants to fuck you, after which he conveniently snores off to lalaland. And you’re supposed to be okay with that. Your husband gives the hairy eyeball to every decent looking female he sets eyes on, but he’s a man. He isn’t built to be monogamous and he’s only checking out the menu, he isn’t actually eating anything, so why create a scene? But don’t you dare go ahead and so much as glance in anyone’s direction. You’ll be tagged as promiscuous and slutty for so much as raising an eyebrow.

He can wander off to any and all the corners of the Earth with his boy band. But you’re now married so friends shouldn’t be given the time of the day. They shouldn’t matter as much as they once did. You’re supposed to be reborn into his family and forget about the life you once lived. Your husband can scream at you and call you names not even your parents dare to call you but you so much as raise your voice by a single decibel and you turn into the “crazy, controlling wife.” If he slaps you, “It happened only once so you should forgive him.” And you slapping him is totally out of question because “pati toh parmeshwar hota hai”.

Needless to say, it disgusts me. No, you don’t. I understand your predicament. I know. Yes, I do. You may think of me as an idol spectator commenting on your life from afar but I’ll stop you for a second and ask you this. Is this the life you really wanted? Because you only get one. That’s right, one. And you can spend it how you want. Fighting a lost cause, or being yourself. Being single sucks sometimes. You don’t have someone cuddling with you, or someone to cry to, or someone who gives a major crap about you. You certainly don’t get the consistent bedroom action you want. But if you get it right, you’ll be blessed with a couple of friends who would give up anything for your happiness. You can cry to them and vent to them, they’ll be enough. Earning your own bread is tough too, but if you like what you do slightly, but it’s totally worth it.

Live this life the way you want to. Because giving in to him and changing yourself to an unrecognizable, quiet, perfect wife isn’t all that worth it. You’re worth a lot more than he gives you credit for. You’ve got a light in you that I’ve never seen inside anyone else. You’ve got a fire, a story, a whole world inside you waiting to be heard, seen and explored. And you certainly weren’t built to disappear and dissolve into someone else’s house and life. You were always built for greatness and no one but you can be the person you are meant to. And this isn’t that person. You know it isn’t.

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