They’ve been in close proximity, but never are they really present. They linger and just wait for you to break. They speak through a veil of contempt and disrespect even if the words they use are friendly and comforting. You wanted to play because you thought you were the ultimate player, little did you know you were playing their game along and they were in fact, the masters. They will choose you, play you, and erase you once they are done. They will break you down just to prove that they are capable and all you will be left with is dry sadness and raging fury. You will overcome the dryness but the rage will live on, like a ball of wildfire in the pit of your stomach.
You will ultimately turn into a ghost of a memory for them but they won’t budge an inch from yours. They will drive you away from the image you had of yourself and they will persist till the time you look at yourself with disgust. And at the end of it all, they will finally walk away with a smugness you despise while you are left to pick up the pieces of your oh-so-broken self.
You are the shiznit. Yes, I said it. You are all that you are looking for, whether you like it or not. Your life is neither a movie, nor a fairytale. If you believe it is, you’re either incredibly romantic or incredibly stupid, none being a very great thing to be. I read a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald which said, “And in the end we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, can heal our brokenness.” But is that necessarily true? A failed attempt at love is generally what breaks us in the first place, and a couple of them changes us irreversibly. But who decided all we need is love? I certainly didn’t come up with that hypothesis. Rather, it was thrust upon me by all the hype around the concept of love. What if that’s not the point of life at all? What if the point in life is to simply make connections, romantic or unromantic?
The conformist relationship between a monogamous couple has never been my deal. I get restless after a period of time, . Through all the ups and downs there is just one theory I realized to be true. You are never as broken as you think you are and there is nothing you cannot overcome. Sure, you’re bound to have some bruises and some old scars that never fade, but honestly, who doesn’t? We are all super heroes in our own way. And all heroes have some scars. So breathe, think, and give yourself a break because all you really need, is you.